If you like driving down narrow winding country lanes without an idea where you’re heading then this joint could be for you. But if you’re the sort of person that finds eating a bacon sandwich in front of a pig uncomfortable then turn back. Stop reading! For the rest of us, this gaff is a little carrot after the stick that is navigating the back lanes of rural Shropshire.

This place is a farm by the way (the theme doesn’t relate to Crewe girls as you may have imagined πŸ˜‰ ). You park up, walk through to a sort of outhouse (maybe an ex-abattoir?) which is now a small cafΓ©. We found a pleasant lady there to serve us and ordered a breakie each. You can sit inside and look through windows at a few of the farm animals dotted around the place but most prefer to sit outside, weather permitting, and ogle the odd piglet.

There is a lovely lively cat called Joey that greets every visitor and demands either a fuss or food. To the right of the cafe, there are enough chickens to make Colonel Saunders weep, clucking and crowing with a few unusual-looking ducks. The other side houses an orphaned calf, horses and two cute kid goats for you to stroke. Oh and then there are the stars of the show – the alpacas. The youngish, most inquisitive is Alfie who, at 18 months, decided he would like to feed on the back of my shirt. As the shop does not sell alpaca burgers, I could not get back my revenge though I did put poison in his feed tray (NO I DIDN’T!).

Luckily there were no kids (other than the goats) and not too many visitors and the majority of them were cyclists. We were pleasantly accosted by Bob the chicken (who is half-blind) and a few old Staffies, none of which tried to savage us whilst consuming agreeable fry-ups and passable Americanos.

So if you can be smegged to drive/cycle here it’s worth a visit to chill and look at goats. You could get pecked or chewed but it’s a change from having your eardrums burst at Costa by Mr Tamper.

Update: They have now stopped allowing you to get near the animals (it’s cordoned off) but you can view them from afar. Some titheads hassled the animals and did committed various acts of supreme idiocy. Hopefully the culprits were caught, ground into animal feed and given to Alfie!

Verdict: 3.5/5

Good: Reasonable food. Friendly staff and critters. Views.

Bad: A bit of a (llama) trek.