If you like driving down narrow winding country lanes without an idea where you are heading (except me, I have an amazing sat-nav) then this place could be for you. If you do are the sort of person that is uncomfortable eating a bacon sandwich in front of a pig then turn back. Stop reading! For the rest of us, this cafe is a reward for that pain in the botty of a journey.

This place is a farm by the way. You park up, walk through to a sort of outhouse (maybe an ex-abbatoir) which is now a small cafe. We found a pleasant lady there to serve us and ordered a breakie each. You can sit inside but we preferred to sit outside and oggle the views and the animals;

There is a lovely cat called Joey that greets every visitor and demands either a fuss or food. To the right of the cafe, there are many chickens of all types, clucking and crowing with a few rare ducks.

The other side has an orphaned calf, horses and two cute kid goats for you to stroke. Oh and then there are the stars of the show – the alpachas. The youngish, most inquisitive is Alfie who, at 18 months, decided he would like to feed on the back of my shirt. As the shop did not sell alpacha burgers, I could not get back my revenge though I did put poison in his feed tray (NO I DIDN’T!).

Luckily there were no kids and not too many visitors and most of them were cyclists. We were pleasantly accosted by Bob the chicken (who is half-blind) and a few old Staffies. We had an agreeable fry-up each anyway and some OK coffees.

So if you can be arsed to drive/cycle there it’s worth a visit to chill and look at goats. You could get pecked or chewed but it’s a change from having your eardrums burst at Costa by Mr Tamper.

Update: They have no stopped allowing you to get near the animals (it’s cordoned off) but you can view them from afar. Some titheads hassled the animals and did various stupid things and pissed off the owners. Well done you pricks! We should kill you, grind you up and feed you to Alfie.