This is another smug cafe that is very pleased with itself. Since 2015, this Surrey-based small chain has been offering a locally owned, clean eating cafe with wholesome food that ‘nourishes your life’. Good on them.

The menu offers food that is free from gluten, processed sugars, refined oils and dairy. The fodder is homemade as nature intended and menu consists of breakfast items, hot bowls with salads items, mini-roosters (build your own) for those on the go or kids.

The chairs are alright but not mega comfy and where I sat was draughty as it was by an old window (the building is listed I think – well it does have beams on the ceiling).

It has a pleasant interior though there is no music on but there was a hubbub as was quite busy and compact so wasn’t to listernery. Shelves with a few deli items for sale – organic this and that and some decent-looking cakes on the counter as friggin-usual.

The cafe had some wifi issues but the friendly staff that gave me the password to the admin network and so all was OK. I thought about hacking into their payroll system but decided to look at some porn instead.

My latte was fine but served in a glass (without handles of course) so unless you have asbestos fingers then you’d better wait until it cools down. I did feel like saying to the waiter ‘McFly!’.

Then came my breakfast; quinoa porridge with honey and (cold) raspberries which was excellent though it also came with pour over espresso! £6.50 a pop. Better without the coffee for me – a bit of a gimmick. Anyway, I managed to spill the porridge down my jumper as usual.

The toilet was a traipse outside to a small outhouse which required you to duck your head unless you are Warwick Davis. Then you imagine the episode of Steptoe where Harold visits the outside toilet to defecate but sits on a holly wreathe put there decorously/stupidly by his father. Er, if you are me anyway.

I had hoped to see the co-owner Jody Diton as I have seen pictures of her and she looks very healthy, obviously a poster-girl for this lifestyle. She does look very fit but I hope she doesn’t come in the shop now. I might spill my porridge…

Sorry I am being rude again.

Verdict 3.5 / 5

Good: Food , staff, cool place

Bad: Comfort, wifi, cold, music