When I arrived I needed to make use of the facilities before ordering as the food over the Christmas period was deciding to make an appearance at the business end (OK I know – TMI). As I got the toilets upstairs, an annoyed member of staff was walking past me carrying a bucket. Not sure if she was using that to clean with or vomit into for the both toilets had been Jackson Pollocked by some dirty feckir. I decided I was not that desperate (and gestate my bébé marron a bit longer) and headed back downstairs.

I sat perusing the menu whilst considering the identity of the scat-painters of the faecal artwork and it didn’t take long to put number two and number two together. A group of bawdy men in high-vis jackets are tucking into their breakfast. I close my eyes and guess what they are eating. Six full Englishes? I am not wrong. They shout and swear as you would expect and annoy the other diners. They are going out later after work to the pub, as per. Turds of a feather, flock together.

These men may be unreconstructed but the cafe is downstairs; it had a total refit and is much better. Upstairs the toilets look like they haven’t been updated since the Queen’s Elizabeth’s coronation.

This cafe used to be called ‘McCormack’s’ and was run by the same people for 30 years and was once visited by Robbie Williams’ dad apparently. It wasn’t a great cafe but it used to do porridge. No more sadly but there are some good things on the menu (they do a good omelette unless some cafes I could mention).

Furniture is not that comfortable (benches are not a good thing in a cafe in the main) and the service can be lacking at times. On some occasions the food has been wrong and or cold. This time it was fine, having been served a reasonable latte and omelette, I tried not to watch the runny-nosed old man in front of me ogling the women behind the counter.

They do events here now here such as comedy nights and open mic spots. I went to one once that showcased some of the worst comedians I’d ever seen and the bar staff short-changed me twice in a row!!

The best thing about this place is that the waitresses. They are much hotter than the food.

Verdict: 3/5

Good:

Eye-candy.  Decor. Events.

Bad:

Comfort. Service.Toilets