I had yomped here with a heavy rucksack to do some holiday research and needed my jump-leads for one. I ain’t no use without my juice!

A former kebab-house, this cafe opened a year ago and has been an instant success. This area (in fact all of Wistaston) has cried out for a half-decent cafe for as long as I can remember and now it has one. Happy 1st Birthday Pantree! This was one of many visits, on my first I was expecting to smell the faint whiff of kofta or see a bit of leftover grease stuck to the wall but luckily there was no trace of either.

The menu is not particularly interesting or vast but the food is pretty good across the board. The home-made cakes are their strongest selling point and there’s always a decent and bloody tempting selection!

The staff were efficient and friendly and it was generally chav-free considering the location is near the arsehole of Wistaston. No that is not my nickname before you say! Anyway the gaff is quite spacious considering what it used to be with some art on the wall dotted about and the wifi seemed to work well. 

I had a reasonable though not ambrosial latte and a fabbo quiche. All bon then and prices aren’t too bad – well it is a least cheaper than Nantwich.

So what can they improve? There are gluten free bread options but portions are a bit Ethiopian. The wall art could be a bit more exciting perhaps with some art for sale. But I am being picky, as usual.

As I got ready to leave I listened to a sweaty forty-something man with a child try to impress an attractive female chubster. I mean attractive for Crewe which means only three warts on her face, tats on her hands and cankles and smelt like a Benson and Hedges warehouse. The dad persisted with chat-up lines such as ‘I drive a Vauxhall’ and ‘I’ve don’t want to go back to jail now I’ve got a kid’. She tried to leave but he turned on the slimy charm, saying she was attractive and must have been a model when she was younger. Modelling what I don’t know, perhaps tents of some sort? She rolled her eyes (and belly) before making a dash for it. Grease is the word!

Verdict: 4/5

Good: Cakes, service.

Bad: Not much really.