This World War II themed cafe is one of a chain of three, the others being located in Lincoln and Coventry. It is headlined as ‘rising from the rubble’ so I can understand there being one in Cov. Maybe Lincoln was bombed too quite badly but Hexham????!!
We arrived early doors to be the first in, wanting to avoid the virus special on the menu and sat near the window. There was gel, track-and-trace and a one-way system so that was done quite well.
Chairs weren’t exactly comfy; it felt like I was being gently pounded in the back by a boy with a cricket bat for most of my visit. Maybe it’s supposed to feel a bit austere and that we should have stuck forks in our thighs as we ate?
Following the war-theme the chili is called ‘Churchilli’ and there are a few mentions of Clark Gable, Rita Hayworth and Frank Sinatra placed irrelevantly on the menu. The afternoon tea is called the ‘American Alliance’. So it seems zero thought has gone in to the naming of the menu items. A bit like the random paraphernalia dotted around (or what they got cheap from a junk shop). Old typewriters (although one seemed to be from 1985), a Singer sewing machine, lots of random mirrors arranged together in case that Rylan bloke off the TV passes by, the usual old suitcases as shelves (seen it all before), wagon wheels on the walls (god knows why) and trumpets (ditto).
The same WTF theme continues with the zombie waitresses. The first one hassled us just after sitting down and gave the two of us one menu. The next one arrived and did not seem to know what was actually on the menu. McFly!!! My partner ordered tea and toast. Do you want a teacake then? Er no, toast!!!
A third of the undead comes to the table, just as dopey but a little curt. I ordered a fry-up and say I don’t want black pudding. ‘Oh that’s extra’ comes the reply to which I say ‘No it’s on the menu. And I don’t want it anyway’. Jesus! Have they ever read their menus??!!
The food and drinks come fairly quickly. The tea was awful until I steep the bag for about an hour and, for some reason, two fry-ups are brought. We are not charged for this so result 🙂 But it is comical! I get the wrong bread but I just shake my head and tuck in. Maybe the masks are starving oxygen to the brains!
The plates are plectrum shaped for some reason and the tea sets are quite nice though the cups are marked and old but clean. And we have to say that with the Covid preparation the staff disinfected the tables with spray and made the punters use sanitising gel when they arrived and left. In fact they gave it a good Blitzing. Sorry.
Verdict: 2.5 /5
Good: Sort of interesting
There was a woman who seemed to have a tiny torso so that her face was very close to her groin, like the old woman in Greek mythology, Baubo is it?
Mind you this is Devon.
Mis en scene – setting out the furniture for a bit of a promo.
par excellance – update frenchie?
The waitress resembling tom selleck / ursine
Woman with crumpled face like she had been hit by a reversing bread van. – check if used?