It was throwing it down as we approached the Dizengoff shopping centre in Tel Aviv. Here, when the heavens open, it quickly forms lakes that cover the streets before being channelled down to the sea. Still the car drivers have just as heavy a foot on the accelerator as usual.
Rather than risking a boat across the road and paying the ferryman, we escaped sodden into Centro, a semi-interesting looking cafe and hoped for a pause in the deluge.
We were greeted by attractive and friendly camel-toed waitresses who gave us a table next to heaters to dry off. Distracted, I eventually got around to looking at the menu and ordered coffee.
Jazzy cafe music was playing but we could not hear much of it as the rain bounced loudly off what seemed to be a corrugated iron roof. Good job really as my arse was a bit vocal too from all the grey carbs from the night before. It was a loud and raspy and sounded like an outboard motor. Thank god for the cacophony of H20 or I would have to leave out of embarrassment.
The building I noticed was more of a lean-to with retractable doors for the summer so it is semi-outdoor. Green tiles and art-deco furnishings with a few interesting lamps were dotted about among battered chairs and tables in a sort of shabby Israeli chic.
My White Americano came without milk and a spoon and then the heater stopped working. The fit waitress forgot to switch it on. She was a bit zombied but if I looked like these girls I too would be dreaming of being rogered on an Arab Prince’s yacht for 10K a night.
Wifi was fast and the loos downstairs smelt nice but were a bit weird and grim like Derby town centre. Actually though it had rose wallpaper and walled mirrors flanking the toilet so you can watch or film yourself evacuate if you want. That’s normal isn’t it?
I was also distracted by a women near us with a cossack hat and smelt like rotting mackerel. And by a tramp outside that seemed to be hoping for money by playing random notes into a harmonica and shouting ‘fuck’. That’s Entertainment! I suppose it works for the X Factor…
Good: Eye candy. Friendly. Good for pervs.
Bad: A bit meh. Coffee average. Waitresses daydream.