I didn’t think I had been to Chirk before, wrongly thinking it was in Shropshire; but I did once hear that it’s a bit League of Gentlemen. So expecting a village filled with freaks, I wandered into the Teddy Bear’s Tearoom half-expecting to catch Tubbs and Edward decapitating Bungle off Rainbow.
No such luck. The interior is suitably filled with bears of all shapes and sizes; shelves and dressers adorned with Pooh Bear and his pals from Harrods and Clintons. Wooden framed pictures with an ursine theme, pencil drawings hang alongside random naff Parisian and Vettriano prints (above a dado rail) providing the eyes with an unwelcome distraction. Chairs are wooden and cushion topped or embroidered. In fact the chintz and the chandeliers drooping from the ceiling to give the impression that the owner furnished the cafe from a yard sale at Liberace’s mansion. The lunacy extends to the window display. On the wall is a framed award ‘Best Dressed Christmas Window display in Chirk 2018’. What an honour. I hope they don’t let it go to their heads.
So it is all is a bit bonkers here bar the menu. There is no ‘Pooh Sandwich’ or any dishes named after Paddington that I can see. But you can get Afternoon Tea for £7.95 including a sausage roll 🙂 They don’t go gluten free bread but have GF wraps and the cakes look serviceable. They also do a Sunday roast even though they are only open Monday to Saturday. That’s Chirk!
To the sounds of Smooth Radio, I ordered a jacket potato with bacon (the menu could have read ‘bear back bacon’ for any gay customers) and beans which was average with the bacon tasting like an oder-eater. A tattooed rubber-lipped waitress took my order though I struggled to keep my composure when ‘Get off my cloud’ spouted from the radio as she returned with my Earl Grey (without milk and without asking if I wanted any). Good excuse not to leave a tip at least.
The customer base seems to be OSVS (over sixties vieux sacs) and a few truanting grand-children. They were presumably looking to order Ovaltine or Sanatogen. A gaggle of them on a table nearest me seems to be rude, befuddled and argumentative. One of the wizened creatures reached onto my table and took a menu without a by or leave. Maybe the younger generation needs to teach them some manners!
This is one of those places where you expect there might not be wifi but there was and it worked OK surprisingly. The toilet was fine and no, they don’t shit in the woods (not to my knowledge).
As I paid and left, the codgers seemed to be staring in my direction. Either they were spaced out, fancied me or were wondering why I’m not in a Starbucks somewhere. I’m sure it’s the latte, sorry the latter. 🙂
2.5 / 5
Great if you have a vagina and have a free bus-pass.
Chinzy but if you like that sort of thing…
Food could be better.
Chirk – Wales!
I WONDER why you went in or did you WANDER by accident? Seeing a pushchair outside surely was an indication that there may have been a child insde. Perhaps you also missed the Teddy Bear display in the window. ( I think under copyright laws Pooh Bear etc would be unmentionable unless with a license to do so.)
As for your Earl Grey tea – didn’t you know the correct way is without milk although some English men like to add milk, perhaps you should have said, afer all you were in Wales.
As for your meal, why didn’t you mention your concerns to the waitress…or did the tattooed lady frighten the shit out of you?
Looks are deceiving you know and 60 is the new 40 with or without a vagina! I wonder what they all thought of you.
Is your mother eligible for a free bus pass?
p.s. This little tea shop is open 7 days a week, with a good roast dinner on a Sunday.
Thanks for your comments. I have amended the spelling mistakes so thank you for pointing them out. Correct Chirk is in Wales! The pushchair was not there though when I went in since it was someone else’s picture. But mentioning Pooh Bear etc is fine. And I don’t have a problem with older women just rude ones (it seems to be happening everywhere these days). If it opens on a Sunday, maybe I will go an have a roast. Thanks.
What do you mean by ‘afer all’? I suppose where you come from tattoos are the norm and prison sentences for you and your family perhaps? You seem to know nothing about copyright law or anything else. I wouldn’t go on Mastermind if I were you.
P.S. I am Welsh and have milk in my Earl Grey.
Well said. I think that guy is a bit of an idiot.
Yes it’s a mad place and take me granny in there as she lives up the road. Like your review matey!
Blimey this is getting a bit heated! Unlike the food lol
The guy’s comment (‘P’) is moronic. And he/she can’t spell. Total dick and uneducated I’d say….
‘P’ is a right freak like the rest of the village, And didn’t go to University that’s a fact. Chav maybe?
The ‘P’ guy is a peedo maybe? Who cares as he sounds like the village idiot!
There is always one pratt and ‘P’ seems to be it.
This place make me want to churk up – lol
Weird people there and ok if you like teddies in your tea
Ha woulnd’t be seen dead in there lol
This place is where I take my gran twice a year and it’s fine. But I do think your review is fair but it is tongue-in-cheek? I think ‘P’ is out of order and seems to get facts wrong? Lol there’s always one though isn’t there?
‘P’ is a dick.
‘P’ is an uneducated imbecile – maybe in jail now?
Freaksville? ‘P’ is as unpopular as ‘H’ now by the way – mind you he/she probably is on ‘H’ lol
Been here a few times – it’s OK especially given the competition in the area lols
Freaksville! What are you doing there? Made me laugh but it’s not somewhere I will risk.